Sub synced and edited by: PEEAN91
It seem like only yesterday the party would go on forever
but in just 12 short months the place known as America's Spring Break Capital
has become a virtual ghost town.
Who can forget the devastating attack on Lake Victoria that left scores of young
people dead and a community in shocked and who
could've guess that this hell on earth
would be rocked by a species of Piranha believed to be
extinct for the 2 million years
A massive eradication program have left these waters once teeming with life
silence and dead after a massive exorcist most property abandoned
the local economy
fell in ruins. Lake Victoria is now a quarantine area only weeds grow on
beaches where thousand once soaked-up the sun and the only boats that remained
are dusty relics littering the shoreline.
As we look back from the anniversary of this tragic event, we left to wonder
if it happened here can it happen again?
and if so, where?
I got my foot stuck
-There she is right there -Is she dead?
You got big
Yeah, I took second place in gunning last year
Oh hell, it something around its belly, find out whats going on down there
There's something in there
-Holy-fine-baby-shit -God-damn-piece-of-crap
I got a lighter, that smell is awful
That's just a gas you damn coward
Shit! Shit! Shit!
Get away
Hey, it's time to get wet again
Come on down, all my girls are hot and single
and ready to party with someone like you
-You! -Put her down boys
So, if you want to cool off, come on down to the hottest hole in town
3 words for you, THE BIG WET
Remember double D's swims free
-Oh boy, hold on. Shut it!, shut it! -Cut!
-Hey! -Hai
I've to cut some off the pass, here you go
Keep them wet
-and are you guys friends of someone -Maddy
Get over here and give your step dad a hug
Chet, tell me you did not fire our old
life guards and replace them with strippers
-Water-certified strippers -Really?
-More than that pumpkin -Unbelievable
Hey listen, before you sweet mother died God-bless her soul,
she made me promised her to keep this water park running
I am just going to make sure that I provide
for you as well as she did, I'm your daddy now, we're so lucky to have each other
Wow Chet sometimes I think you really believe whats coming out of your mouth
Believe me doll, you're going to love this
Adult pool?
We are going to make BIG on this
-What do you think? -I think this is very expensive joke
World's first strip club in a water park, that's a stroke of genius
No, no, no
Oh, don't worry about that, we put a little bit of
chlorine, sulfuric acid into the pool,
it sanitizes everything
Hey Kiki, why don't you get your ass out of the pool
Russian, she's a doctor
Keep you eyes over there on the flat screen TV
Check it out
That is disgusting
-Do not touch it -I'm getting rid of it
Don't you touch it
That's not your call
Don't you forget that i'm still half owner of this place
Oh! Is that right? Raise your hand if you own 51% of this Water Park
Now, raise your hand if your 49% minority on it, that's you
-Hey guys -Hey Maddy
How are you
Well this is a summer show she finally obtained from accidents
Shut up!
She's afraid to have sex because her slutty cousin
Stop it!
Here he comes, the boy is going to pop her cherry
He just doesn't know it yet
Stop it
Hey Maddy, what do you think of all the changes around here?
-Josh meet Monique. Hi -Come on
What am I? The last guy to know you're back?
Hi
-How are you? -I miss you Me too
Bet you wish you were in grad school this summer huh?
-I can't believe what Chet done -I know
This place is everything to me, working here, hanging out
I know, I miss those moments too
So look now that you're back
Hey you guys are you sure that such a good idea?
Better not be any underage drinking going on here
Come on man, I'm on duty
We got fireworks, decent exposure, probable drugs, definite drugs
Major had to rate you off
I don't see what he has that I don't have
6 inches and a badge?
I heard you're back in town so I figured I stop by and say hi
and I also feel that I should say something about that time we talked
You don't have to, long distance relationship real.....
-but you're back now -For the summer
Shouldn't you be interested in something
-I got be on duty, so... -Okay
Welcome back
-I have a little party tonight -Yeah. Yeah me too
I love the water
It's a really...
wet
-What are you thinking about? -Nothing much
Lets take off all our clothes and go swimming
Okay cool, sure
-Turn around -Right, sorry
Shelby
-Are coming in or what? -Yeah, I'm coming
No funny stuff, okay?
Alright
-What are you doing? -You want some of this?
-You want some? -You're not suppose to splash me back
-What? -I just felt something
-Is that you? -What are you talking about?
-What're you doing? -I didn't
-Well what ever it is I don't like it -I didn't do anything
-Shelby, where are you going? -I'm cold, I'm getting out
-You have to do it -Okay fine
Dear Lord,
-Come on -Okay, dear Lord
Please forgive us for what we are about to do
We each know that having relations before marriages is a sin
but
We know that we'll be forgiven for it
because...
we're praying about it
-Amen -Amen
-You can fuck me now -Amen
-Look at this -What?
Do you like that?
It's mine
Don't make me cuff the other one
-We're moving ,Travis -I know
-No
Look, you idiot
-Ashley, are you okay? -Yeah, the water coming in
-Give me the key for the cuff -Ah! It must have fallen out
-Find it now -Where is it?
Shit! Shit! Shit!
Damn it!
-Key for the damn cuff -I should go for help
-No -I cannot see anything
I'm sorry
Ashley, hit the door light and keep looking
damn
What are you doing? Get over here
-Ashley! -I going to call for help
Get back here What are you doing?
Ashley! Damn!
Travis
Help
There's something in the water
Help! Anybody
Ashley! Help!
Travis, What's going on?
Are you there?
Travis! Travis!
Ashley...
Oh my God
Oh my God, help
Oh my God. Please! Is anybody out there?
Anybody?
-I am sorry, I'm just... -No It's cool, I don't mind hanging out
You know, it's not you, it's just that..
Do you think that Ashley is prettier than me
-No -Most guys do
Well I never liked girls with big breasts
Welcome back Maddy
-Dave -Yo man
-What the fuck are you doing? -The hole where the water comes out
-Oh God man -It's so wet
Hey Shelby, have you seen Ashley or Travis?
-Neither one of them punch in this morning -No, I haven't seen either of them
I don't know
Just a sec
-You okay? -I just feel a little weird
-It's okay -Here, let me help you
No no I'm fine, really
Are you okay?
Well look who has morning sickness
Nice work papa
Nobody was inside Shel
-I'm sure they're just fine -Probably shaken up and..
scare they're going to get in trouble
No
Come on, Ash, pick up
-Hello its Ash, leave a message -Shit, call me
Is there anywhere else they might have gone?
No, I don't think so
I'm just going to go
Ashley is my best friend
I know she kinda of a slut
She's still in love with my ex-boyfriend
I'm pretty sure she also stole a pairs of
earrings that my grandmother gave me before she dies
but we kinda like sisters
What is that?
Oh my God
We have to get off this thing right now, hurry
Come on, Shelby
Come on Shelby
grab my hand
Alright, come on, I got you
Oh my God, come on
Oh my God
Quickly
Lets go, we're almost there
No, no, no
Come back Shelby
Come here
You going to have to jump
Come on
You going to have to jump
Let go
Hurry it's just a foot
Alright, I got you
Oh my god
-What is this thing? -Maddy?
What the fuck is that?
-Oh my God -Shit
-Is that a fucking Piranha? -My father
worked construction of a dam
they found fossil like this when they first broke ground
-He gave me on my birthday -I telling you man it was a Piranha
How did they get from Lake Victoria to our lake?
That what we got to find out
What?
Look at us the cop and the marine biologist
I'm sorry but it sound like a shitty sitcom
The cop and the marine biologist
You're still wet
A little, yeah
Can you open the door?
Kyle, Open the door
Just fooling around
It's funny
dick
Who are you? Why are you here?
Sir, we saw you on YouTube
You and 11,486,000 other people
I have 700 more hits than the laughing diarrhea baby
We need your expertise Mr. Goodman
Why?
We think they're back
Cross Lake isn't even connected to Lake Victoria
The Piranha must be migrating through underground lakes and rivers
I have studied this specimen for almost a year
You evil
I think you might find this interesting
Okay, this is galvanized steel
like ordinary household plumbing
there we go
now with some incentive
-No, no, not the Frog -Sorry
I sold out of puppies as a boy
Now I think this is quite resourceful
watch
Now just something to grab
-You fuck -Barry, are you crazy?
-You almost lost a hand -I had a pet frog once
-Come on, help me -Really?
-Now, lets check some data -What're you thinking?
These Piranha spent eons living in underground
lake and rivers full of sulfur dioxide
from all the geothermal activity
that's how they come back to spore
-They follow the rotten eggs smell -Yes
Problem is sulfur dioxide is
commonly released during the shipment of chlorinating water
So its inconceivable that the fish could become confused
and to enter man-made drainage systems
especially with those shocking abundance of back yard pools
Our water park drain directly into Cross lake
That's like equivalent to thousands of swimming pools
That would be a very bad thing
Did you tell anyone that this could happen?
I tried, but unfortunately
I lost some credibility after my last book "Foretold Dreadful..
Plague of Walking Fish"
Oh that’s right, you wrote fish walk among us
I loved that book
This is really great
Well thank you
Thanks
Barry
You read a marine biology book?
Well I want to see what you so interested in
Look guys, we got to check the drains of the outflow pipe to the lake
tonight
I could get a dive team up here of 10 people by tomorrow
No, that's too late.
The water park opens tomorrow
That place is going to be packed
if the fishes are getting through the drain system
that would make Lake Victoria look like an appetizer
Guys we got to get out there right now
Thank you so much for your help Mr. Goodman
Thank you
-Thank you, sir, It's an honor -Okay, be well
11,888,000 hits
Take that laughing diarrhea baby
The two teen Ashley Sowerby and Travis Mitchell
were reported missing this morning after their van was pull out of
Cross Lake. No bodies were found
-Thanks for letting me stay here -No, it was totally cool
How are you felling?
-A little better -You don't seem any better
Hey what is it?
It just this stress of the whole Ashley thing
Make love to me
-Please -Right now?
Please Josh, right now
I think something is really wrong with me
I feel a little bit better
I don't want to die a virgin
Josh, I want to be with you
Come inside me. I'll do what ever you said after that
The outflow pipe down there lead directly to the water park
I got to check them out
Considering how bad-crazy this is, right?
I got to take a look
I'll be quick
Look about what I'm trying to say last night
Are you coming in? Because I could really use a spotter
-What? -I mean if you're
-It's okay -No no I'm not scared
I can't swim
You work in the water park and you can't swim?
What about all the beach parties in high school or the parties at the park
You never
My god Barry, I totally would've taught how to swim
I know, you seemed kinda busy at the time
not a big deal
Toss me that torch light
Yes, I know, that is what I said Chet
Chet Chet listen
I'll find you
Are you sure you want to do this?
No
You let her go in there alone?
-Fuck off Connor -Oh yes, Barry can't swim
Maddy
-Maddy -Maddy
Dive, Maddy
No
-Shit -Get out of the away, get back
-Are you okay? -I think so
Yes
Don't worry, I wont break
-I'm sorry, I'm sorry -No, It's ok
I like it. Keep going
-Oh god Shelby -Fuck me
Oh my God, yes
-Oh my God -Oh my God
-Come on -Oh my God
-Something's wrong
-Oh my god -Something's wrong
Almost there, almost there
Fuck
What the fuck is on my dick?
Oh my God
Damn, what's this?
Damn it
Oh my God
This is disgusting
Oh Jesus
Josh
I feeling a little better now, Josh?
Josh
I think I had an accident
Josh
Josh, what are you doing?
Oh my God
Josh
What the hell did you do to me?
You're going seventy miles there buddy
Don't you have some place else better to be?
-Like boning my step daughter -I'll get to that
First thing first
-You're all good, for now -Well you're looking for a raise?
With any luck your little theme park is going
to take off and i'm going to live off deputy salary forever
So, we're good here?
Yeah, did you check those outflow pipe at the lake?
Maddy did
She almost got herself killed
How about the grades, they're still intact?
Should be good, unless there are another way in the park
-Like that boot leg weld you drilled -Don't you worry about that
I do worry Chet
I'm the one protecting your unlawful ass
Let me tell you something
Why don't you worry keeping Maddy and Johnny law off my ass
-I'll take care of my Water Park -Okay
-Have a nice night deputy -You too Chet
-Oh by the way -What in the hell is this?
-I told you were speeding -Are you shitting me?
Just doing my job
You're a crooked cop
What a night huh
So um..
You an Kyle, I guess you get back together
No, definitely not
I don't think so, probably not
must be hard to make that decision
Kinda did, didn't I
Josh cut off his penis because something came out of my vagina
Should we coming too short the nurses are going to take you guys back
You guys can probably go Josh is still sedated
and I'm going to stick around to take a statement
I'll let you you guys know if I found anything out
How's Shelby?
She's not making a lot of sense right now but
I'll keep an eye on her too
How about you, you alright?
I'm pretty tired
Get some rest and I'll call you
I'm a Love Hunter, hear what I say
Get on your knees learn how to play
Cause a Love Hunter is coming to take you away
Love Hunter coming today
That is so sad
Come to bed, Hoffy It's nappy time
I'm a Love Hunter hear what I'll say
Looks like Donna is ready to play
I'm Rachel
-I'm Donna -Right
I'm a love Hunter
Two chicks for me
because I am the brightest stars on TV
Yeah, lets party
Welcome to Rock Bottom
Sorry, can you get this thing open?
Wait
I do not know if I can do this
All you is keep baby steps, little baby steps
What the hell are talking about baby steps for?
In case you haven't know fish ate my damn legs
I hate water, I hate it
Remember what doctor Smith's said
This is all about the road to recovery strut out with harmless little kiddy pool
I mean, what the worst that could happen
Couple of kids will do to you, that's all
Kids...
I can handle that
I'm not afraid of some punk-ass water
I can't
Don't worry about it, we'll figure out something else
No, this is weak
-Dump me in the water -What?
You heard what I said, get behind the seat, grab the handles
and dump my sorry ass in the water
The way the parent toss their kid into the pool
when they want to swim
This is a great idea
Alright I can do this
-One, two -Stop
-Okay okay right, what happened? -Why you stop?
-You said stop -Don't listen to my pussy-ass-mouth
No matter what I'll say, dump me into the water
Okay got it
Not going to listen to your pussy-ass-mouth
I mean you don't have a pussy-ass-mouth
Dump me in the water
Okay, here we go One, two..
Ah shit, no no I changed my mind
No, no you're going in
I changed my mind, I don't want to go in the water
I don't want to go in the water
-You're going in -Hey
Leave him alone
No no he wants to go in
No, no the hell I do
I don't want to go in
What's wrong with you? Don't push that poor legless stump in the pool
Yeah, that's right don't push this poor legless stump in the pool
Okay, you know what, you going to go in the water....
No, I don’t want to go
Not cool man
I'm not afraid of some punk-ass-water
Not cool at all
Ladies and gentlemen Boys and girls
Hot moms of all ages
Welcome to the BIG WET
and now the moment you all been waiting for
The most famous life guard of all time
Who wants to party with the Hoff?
Welcome David Hasselhoff
David Hasselhoff
Ladies
You know ladies if you play your card right
You may get private mouth to mouth resuscitation
Alright without any further a do
Lets all get wet and wild
How are you doing? feeling good?
Come here, gorgeous, my dear
You're beautiful, you're beautiful
kiss of life
Goodbye now
I knew it
What are you doing back here Maddy?
I saw this when I was taking inventory but
But I didn't think to ask why it's here until now
Well we pumping our own water now fuck the utilities right?
You can't fill this Water Park off a well
It's not a standard well
We drilled down a whole lot further hit an underwater lake
We got enough water to last until forever
You have no idea what you've done
Oh sure I did, got us a nice big fat profit
You don't understand, you could be
pumping out Piranhas straight through the water intake pipes
Maddy, its opening day
I have shelled out a hundred thousand dollars
And you want me to close shop because there might
Might be Piranha in the pipe. What else?
Ghosts? Boogieman? Sharks? Snakes?
You're laughable. Laughable Come on kid..
You been watching too many movies little girl
You should read romance novels
Are we done? I got work to do
-Mommy I got bit -Let me see
Oh honey, you just scrape yourself on something
Go tell a life guard, he'll get you a bandage
-No mom, it was a Piranha -It was not a Piranha
What too many people been talking about Piranha
Now scoot
Hello, hello
-Hello, hey -Hey
-I got bit by a Piranhas -What's your name, kid?
-David -David
That's pretty cool that my name too
Here you go
-What's this? -Autograph
-Can I just have a bandage? -Wait a minute
-You don't know who I am? -No
You never saw Baywatch? Running in slow motion
-How about Night Rider? -No
Talking car? Anaconda 3?
Jekyll and Hyde on Broadway?
-What? -Mr. Hasselhoff
Hey back off, I'm talking to my made man here
-You really have no idea who I am? -Yeah, you're a life guard
and I need a bandage
Can I have a bandage for my made man David here please?
Sponge bob?
I just going to get the bandage tomorrow
I'm a life guard
-Are you okay? -I saw a fish in the splash pool
I know this is crazy but it was a Piranha.
Like the one on the news. I swear to god
Everybody out of the pool
You got to get them out of the pool. Right now
Hey, no running
Game over Chet, we got to shut the Water Park down right now
What sort of no fucking way don't you hear?
A woman saw a Piranha in the splash pool
Did you see it? Did you see it?
-No -You got nothing
I'm evacuating this Water Park whether you like it or not
Maddy, Maddy, Maddy
Chet's right, okay
You just going to cause more panic
-I'm sorry, whose side are you on? -I'm on a side that being calm
-Lets just go check things up okay? -You don't believe me
I'm the one who called you and you don't fucking believe me
Come on kids get out of the pool, please get out of the Water Park
Please just get out of the water
Maddy, I can't let you do this
Let go of me
What the fuck are you doing man? Let her go
What are going to do shark boy huh?
Fuck me with your fucking child-ding?
Let me give you a piece of advice buddy
You going to need a bigger one
Come on
Oh my God
Come on, go, go
They're back, they're back
They'll find you, they always fucking find you
No matter where you go
Bring me my legs son
Titanium motherfuckers
Eat this
-I hate the water -I hate fish
Help, help, help me
Heffy, people are dying You're a life guard, do something
I'm not a life guard, never was one
Help, help me, help
-When are you going to help? -Once these idiots get out of the water
Its not like the fish are going to follow them home
Help me, help
Help me
You went back into the water, you little ginger moron
Heffy, you're a life guard man
Holy fuck, I'm getting old
I got you
I'm here to rescue
I actually am doing the rescue
Can you put me down now?
Chet
You see them? You see them now?
We got to drain the pool
Hey Barry, Barry
I need you to go and pump out and force drain a pool
I've never done that before
It's easy, there are levers, they are down
You push them straight up
-I got it -Thanks
Wait, no matter what happens
I loved you since 7th grade. I always will
I thought you were gay
Really?
I have to get out of here
This is not my fault
-You fucking slut -Help me
Get off me
Hey yo, come over here
Hey man, look at my ass
-Holy shit -What ever it is, just get it out
This is going to hurt. You ready? One, two
Ahhhh...
Okay, come on, come on we got to get to the pump
Sorry, kid
It's not my fault
Holy shit
Out of the way
Okay, listen, listen.
I want you to get all first aid supply and bring them outside
Got it?
You got it? Go
I need first aid
-Maddy -Help
Maddy, Maddy. Come here
-Help me -I'm promise you I didn't know
-What are talking about? -The well
Chet promised that he gives me 35% of the profits
-If I turn a blind eye -Just help me get out of here please
-I did not know it -Help. Please
-Please just help me -The park
-Please help me
Kyle, please
-I can't do this -Please help me
No, no, don't don't
Please help me
-Maddy, where's Maddy? -She's gone I couldn't save her
-Help me. Help me -Maddy. Maddy
Okay
Be a man, Kyle
Maddy
This was a bad idea
Barry?
Save a Life. Save a life, Kyle
Need a hero?
I got you, oh my god
Get out of the pool Oh my God
Medic
I need a medic
Maddy?
Maddy
No body munches something off Dave ass
Adios evil fish
How the hell did you bought a shotgun leg?
The money I paid off socks
Hello
Maddy, you're not going to believe this
I was right. They are evolving
They learning to walk
Yes, I know
David
-David, get away from that thing -Mom, it's okay
It's slow on land
Oh my God
Little ginger moron
Sub synced and edited by: PEEAN91
David Hasselhoff
FISH HUNTER
Rivers fulls of sulfur oxide
Look guys we got to check the drain outflow pipe...
Look guys we got to check the drain outflow...
Fuck me
Fish-hunter
Okay
Can we get a little tighter?
He's going to take his glasses off
Alright, either that or I'm going
to wait for the drums to come
do that
You ginger little moron
You..you ginger
-You little ginger moron -Fuck
Alright. You ginger little moron
Why are you laughing?
I'm a love Hunter
-Oh God, shit -Hello
Camera's crazy, where is it?
This is good
Where's the place where no fish.. Here we go again. One, two, three
Where's the place with no fish but plenty of tails
Piranha? What?
That's the wrong places for it right?
Okay here we go once again
What's the line
Come on down and cool off the hottest hole in town
Ready? Come on down... Are you serious?
Fifteen dollar, fifteen dollar
Are you serious? Tell him now
Just keep your hand in the middle like that, yeah
Okay, don't do the hand because that get two 3D
-Do you want me to start with it out? -It was 3 double D
Test
How the hell did they get in here?
Even if they're the same grizzly bears
Twinky face
High five son
That?
Mom
-She's kinda cute -Yeah, she got some talent
-She's what? -She has some talent
Your mother has talent?
She's pretty hot
Yeah, don't even think
best in the business
a few years ago
I'm wet all the time
If you want to wetter come on down and
cool off in a hottest hole in town
Mine. That wont make the movie
We should add that to the movie
Two chicks for me
because I'm the brightest star..
How are you?
What are doing? Oh my god you're not done
A flying squirrel
Hoffman
That why I need you to sit on the chair
-The camera is rolling -For God sake
-Settle down -Calm down
Action
David, get away from that thing
Mom, It's okay it slow
The fish is flying
Stand up. stand up
Help me
-Help me -And..
Cut
That my darling is all what natural selection is all about
Sub synced and edited by: PEEAN91